


Confessions of a lost soul

by zeusfluff



Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-28 19:06:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5102264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeusfluff/pseuds/zeusfluff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie has a conversation with Rachel about what happened while she was kept prisoner by Monroe. A deep and dark secret emerges as she tells her story and Charlie finds one more thing to be angry with Monroe about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Confessions of a lost soul

**Author's Note:**

> Do not own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own one original one.

[](http://s1168.photobucket.com/user/Dreams_are_fanfiction/media/596f5084-e286-427b-9c15-5cbcf844b64f_zpsqylt6xfi.jpg.html)

“So mom, what did happen to you while Monroe held you prisoner for all those years?”

Rachel avoided Charlie’s gaze for a few moments and tried to distract herself with the fire in front of her. Clearing her throat Rachel let everything out in the open. She’d kept it bottled up inside for so long, she needed to tell someone. 

“Monroe always gets what he wants. He would send in Strausser to extract information from me about the pendants. I never cracked for him. I have a few less teeth because of him. Five in fact. The ironic thing was that as soon as he dangled Danny practically in front of me and threatened torture, I folded like a cheap suit. You have another brother…”

Staring into the fire, Rachel waited for her last sentence to sink in. Charlie balled her fists and got up, pacing around the fire. 

“I gave birth to him 9 months before you and Miles came to rescue me. Came to get Danny back. He doesn’t have a name and he was taken away as soon as he came out of me. Believe me, I screamed at Monroe, I begged him not to take your brother. I don’t want you to ever have to endure what I went through with him. He did whatever he felt like with me. I didn’t have a choice…”

Rachel felt her breath catch in her throat and a sob begin to bubble to the surface from deep inside. She completely avoided Miles eyes as he came up and sat down on the log next to her.

“Scanned the perimeter. Still no signs of any remaining Patriots. That’s a good sign…”

Miles saw her hunched over form sobbing and Charlie’s pacing one and he became worried.

“Can somebody tell me what the hell’s going on here? Why are you crying? Why is Charlie pacing back and forth and looks pissed off?”

Wiping angrily at her tears Rachel found the courage to look into Miles concerned brown eyes. 

“I had a baby Miles…”

A choked sob escaped her mouth as she looked at her hands. A question mark drew itself across Miles face and he scooted closer to her. 

“Wait. What? When?”

Rachel squeezed Miles hand told him everything. Meanwhile Charlie had stopped pacing and was holding back her tears. 

“15 months ago. While I was held prisoner by Monroe. I had a boy. He was taken away from me after he came out and the worst thing about this whole situation was that he was in the next room the whole time. I could hear him crying but I could never get to him because Monroe always had me locked in my room. I don’t even know if he’s still alive.”

Miles leaned into her left ear and whispered.

“He hurt you didn’t he? Monroe? That’s where this baby came from?”

Rachel nodded her head and buried herself in Miles chest for a few moments. Releasing each other from their embrace Miles stood up and balled his fists. Her eyes widened as he took a few steps forward.

“Miles where are you going?”

A dark mask had planted itself over Miles face sending chills down Rachel’s spine. 

“Going to have a little chat with Bass to ask him where your son is. Then I’m going to kill him. You didn’t deserve what he did to you Rachel. He has to pay for what he did.”

All Rachel wanted to do at the moment was crawl under a rock and die. 

To be continued…


	2. Where's the kid Bass?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles finds out from Monroe where Rachel's son is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own an original character.

Miles was fuming, no livid was more like it. He’d stormed away from the fire Charlie and Rachel were sitting in front of to confront Monroe. Charging into his tent he all but picked Monroe up by the collar of his shirt. 

“Where’s the kid Bass?”

Monroe looked up at Miles confused and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 

“What are you talking about Miles? What kid?”

The dark mask of anger that Rachel had witnessed crossing Miles face became visible and public once more. 

“Where’s Rachel’s son? Tell me right now or I will start throwing punches you son of a bitch.”

Monroe still confused and sleep deprived kept staring at Miles.

“Miles if you mean Danny you know he’s dead…”

Growing quite a bit angrier, Miles flung Monroe against a side table and placed him on his feet. 

“Not him Bass. The one she gave birth to 15 months ago. Where is he?”

Monroe looked up at him and shook his head. 

“He’s being looked after by a woman named Clara Rice. She lives in Northern Michigan. I can tell you where her house is. Why don’t I take you there?”

Miles balled his right fist and knocked Monroe to the ground. 

“You can go wherever the hell you want, but stay the hell away from my family and don’t follow us. Got it? You need to pay for what you did to Rachel.”

Monroe looking more pride wounded than physically began to stand, but Miles was already outside the tent and on his way back towards Charlie and Rachel. He spotted Gene coming towards him. 

“You want to fill me in Miles on why you just knocked some sense out of Monroe?”

Miles sat down on the log next to Rachel and pulled her into a hug. 

“I got Bass to talk Rachel. Your son is being looked after by a woman named Clara Rice. She lives in Northern Michigan. Does that name ring a bell?”

Rachel tilted her head upwards, tears still stinging her eyes. 

“Green eyes and black hair. Round-rimmed glasses that look antique. Yeah the name rings a bell. I know her. She and two other women helped me deliver my son.”

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to find her dad. 

“Why didn’t you say anything Rachel? I ought to kill Monroe myself.”

Rachel looked back into the fire and swallowed. 

“Well now you know about your grandson dad. We have to go and find him. Get him back.”

Charlie looked at her mom and threw in her two cents worth. 

“Mom why didn’t you try and take him and run? He’s my little brother. I don’t have Danny to protect anymore, now I have him.”

Rachel wrung her hands and nervously kept staring into the fire. 

“I couldn’t…”

Charlie took both of Rachel’s hands and looked into her eyes. 

“Mom look at me, now is not the time to check-out. Let’s go find my brother.”

Rachel looked up at Charlie and she could’ve swore she saw a deep hidden sadness in her eyes. One that Charlie didn’t understand and Rachel hoped she never would. 

“You know I thought about taking your brother and breaking out of there. But Monroe always had armed guards at my door 24/7. Even when I was in labor with him.”

Miles got to his feet and looked towards the wagon not far from where they were standing. 

“Ok, everybody. Pack your crap. We’re going to Northern Michigan. We’re leaving in an hour.”

No one noticed in the shadows of the firelight that Monroe was watching. 

To Be Continued…


	3. The worst night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback of the night Rachel gave birth to her son. Then Monroe takes him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own one original one.

15 months ago…

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

 

Rachel was tired and disoriented. Everything was blending together. There were two women on either side of her holding on while one stood in front of her at the foot of the bed. 

“Keep pushing. That’s it. You’re almost there.”

Rachel didn’t like the woman standing before her. The other fact she didn’t like was the captive audience of five guards standing just behind her. She blew her top at the guards.

“I am not some sideshow act to gawk at from a traveling circus. GET OUT!”

Things as blurry as they were from being exhausted, she found another two women had grabbed for her ankles and were holding her feet down on the bed. She was doing exactly what this woman wanted but something didn’t feel right. 

“What’s going on?”

Lifting her head up, Rachel looked at the woman standing at the foot of the bed. 

“I need you to stay still and keep pushing.”

A frustrated sigh escaped her lips and she kept looking at the woman still crouched at the foot of the bed in front of her. 

“Boy that shiner I gave you is really going to hurt tomorrow isn’t it?”

The woman in front of her ignored her comment and kept concentrating on the task in front of her. 

“I need you to concentrate Rachel. Give me another push. A hard one.”

Wasn’t that what she was doing already? Throwing her head back, Rachel rolled her eyes.

“What do you think I’ve been doing? God your bedside manner is something to be desired…”

All Rachel wanted at the moment was for this baby to come out. If her feet weren’t being held down, she would’ve given this woman another shiner to her left eye, just so it would match the right one. 

“I need you to stay quiet and keep pushing Rachel.”

Rachel grunted and tried again not even sure if anything was helping. 

“Not gonna happen lady.”

The woman holding Rachel’s left ankle nodded to the one standing in front of her. 

“This baby’s head is stuck. I need an extra pair of hands.”

Glaring at the two women before her, Rachel let out a cry and kept going. All her strength was pretty much spent, but this last leg of labor was really knocking her down. Everything seemed to go in slow motion and then she heard it. That first cry. Then she got her first glimpse of him. It was a boy. The woman in front of her shielded him from Rachel’s view. Cutting the umbilical cord, she wrapped the boy in a towel and walked towards the door and opened it. Monroe was on the other side and took the baby in his arms. Rachel screamed at him.

“I’m still his mother! Where are you taking him?”

A dour looking woman with green eyes and black hair held her down. 

“Lie back Rachel. You need to stay still.”

Rachel threw a glare at the woman and managed to push herself into a sitting position and reached for the squalling baby Monroe was walking away with. 

“The hell I will! Turn around Monroe! You did this to me you son of a bitch! Bring me my son!”

As tired as she was, Rachel pushed the woman who was holding her down aside. She was going to crawl her way towards Monroe if she had to, as humiliating as it sounded right now. Monroe didn’t even look her straight in the eye.

“This is for the one I lost. We’re done here Rachel.”

She was left alone with the five women in the room. She sobbed harder as they cleaned her up. This night was the worst and it had taken another piece of her soul with it. She vowed that someday Monroe was going to pay for what he’d done to her. 

To Be Continued…

A/N: So I did this chapter as a flashback to kind of incorporate some details that were mentioned in the first and second chapters.


	4. Explanations are not needed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles and the gang reach the house in Northern Michigan. Then Rachel is reunited with her son whose name she learns is Toby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own Toby.

“Mom wake up. It’s ok.”

Rachel shot up in the wagon bed and looked down at herself disoriented for a few moments. In the torch light she saw nothing in her arms. Looking at Charlie she let a sob out. Charlie squeezed her hand.

“You were dreaming about my little brother again weren’t you?”

Shaking her head no Rachel had a haunted look on her face.

“Actually I was dreaming about your sister Mayra. I could’ve done something for her.”

Charlie’s face fell. But she hadn’t thought about her little sister in years. 

“Mom what made you dream of her? You know it wasn’t your fault what happened to her. She got sick.”

Rachel avoided eye contact with her and shook her head. 

“There were four of you. You, Danny, Mayra and your little brother. I’ve already lost half my children. You and your brother are all I have left Charlie. I can’t lose either of you.”

The wagon hit a dip in the cracked concrete and became a welcome distraction for a minute. 

“Mom, you are not going to lose me. You’re not going to lose either of us. We’re going north to find your son. My brother. What does he look like?”

A sad sort of smile graced Rachel’s lips. 

“Well from what I saw of him, it was just a glimpse really, a head of blond hair and he’s got this cute little dimple on his left cheek down by his mouth. That’s all I can tell you really. The woman who helped me, she cut the umbilical cord and wrapped him up in a towel and gave him to Monroe. I didn’t have time to find out how much of me I could see in him…”

Rachel managed to give Charlie a smile and a little laugh. 

“You know the woman that gave your brother to Monroe? I gave her right eye a pretty good shiner. Wanted to give her another, but there were four women holding me down. Well can you really blame me? All these women worked for Monroe. They didn’t really show any kindness towards me. I might as well have been giving birth in a barn for all they cared…”

Miles looked back at Rachel from the front of the wagon. 

“We’ll be there in a couple of more hours Rachel. He’s going to be ok.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Rachel we’re here.”

Rachel looked up at the house in front of her. It looked simple enough. It had a wrap-around porch and a porch swing. A woman with her back turned to them had a fussy baby up   
against her shoulder. Staying quiet Rachel listened as the woman talked to the baby.

“I know you’re hungry. Let’s go inside and get you something to eat.”

Tears stung her eyes as she watched her son. He still looked so tiny. Rachel wanted nothing more than to take the boy in her arms and leave this place. Miles took the steps up the porch and grabbed at the woman’s elbow. His rifle to her back they all entered the house. The little boy became fussier. Another woman was sitting on a worn out couch and her smile disappeared. Her eyes grew wide.

“Rachel what are you doing here?”

Nose flaring Rachel stepped forward. 

“I came to get my son. What gives you the right to steal a child?”

The woman on the couch completely ignored Rachel’s question. The one holding the boy walked to the couch and placed him in the other woman’s arms. 

“He’s not eating solids yet. He’s still breastfeeding.”

Rachel got angrier and stepped closer. 

“If anything I should be doing that not you. You are not his mother. I am.”

An awkward silence draped the room, and it was so thick you could cut it with a steak knife. Miles gave an uncomfortable and nervous laugh and spoke up.

“Ok, this just got awkward. The two of you sound like a couple of cheerleaders fighting over a hot dude. How about it lady, just give us the kid and we’ll go on our merry way.”

Rachel ignored Miles sarcastic tone and stepped up to the couch. 

“Just give me my son.”

Something in the other woman standing opposite Rachel made the one on the couch give in. 

“Give her the boy Clara. There are plenty of orphans out there that need a mother. She’s been through enough.”

Clara shook her head no as Miles took the little boy from her and gave him to Rachel. Stifling a sob, Rachel marveled at every feature of the boy in her arms. Now instead of fussy,   
he was angry. He was grabbing at pieces of her shirt and stuffing them in his mouth. When he realized it wasn’t what he was looking for, he belted out another scream. Miles glanced over at Rachel and grimaced at the infant’s screaming form.

“Can’t you give him what he wants?”

Rachel wanted to gape at Miles for his obvious stupid question. 

“Oh really Miles? How exactly am I going to do that? I’m not exactly lactating at the moment. Besides, do I look like a feeding trough to you? I’m sick of your macho crap Miles.”

Going into the next room with the screaming infant and showing him there was nothing there to give him would prove fruitless. Rachel knew that. Part of her said she should do it. The other part said to find something else for him to eat. Either way, the baby in her arms needed proof. Mind made up she looked at Miles.

“I’ll be right back. He needs proof that I can’t feed him the way he wants.”

Rachel had only been gone a few minutes but even now that the screaming infant in her arms had his proof that she had no milk to give him, he was angry. Angrier still by the minute. Cradling the boy in one arm she walked up to Clara and smacked her.

“That’s for taking my son from me.”

Rocking him she turned to the woman just behind her.

“What’s his name?”

The woman, clearly nervous made a noise with her throat.

“Toby.”

Rachel lifted her eyebrows and looked down at the screaming bundle before her, still trying to get his meal through her shirt. His name was Toby. One of the few T names for a boy she actually liked. Kissing the crown of his head she was the first to exit the house, the rest following behind her. Swallowing Gene put a hand on her shoulder and spoke.

“We’re going to have to find some formula for him.”

Glaring at her father for a brief second or two, Rachel shifted Toby in her arms.

“Well dad, if you can find some Enfamil for me that’d be great.”

Shaking her head she stepped into the wagon and carefully sat down. Charlie taking a seat next to her. 

“He looks like you mom. I think he has your eyebrows.”

Staring down at the crying baby, Rachel knew that she had to find him some food soon. He would become exhausted soon, but he would still be hungry when he woke up. She couldn’t believe that he wasn’t eating solids yet. 

“You know Charlie, by the time you were his age, you were already eating applesauce and mashed bananas. But your favorite was sweet potatoes. In between you got a bottle of formula. Danny on the other hand, the doctor told me it was a good idea to keep giving him breastmilk until he was two. It was supposed to strengthen his immune system. I don’t think it helped much.”

Toby had cried himself to sleep which broke Rachel’s heart in two. Miles took a moment to look back at her.

“I saw a boarded up convenience store a couple of miles from here when we were coming in. Could maybe find something for him to eat there. Or you could just give him goats milk.”

Rachel made a face at Miles and was careful not to jostle Toby. 

“I think I’ll pass on the goats milk Miles. He needs something with vitamins in it.”

Miles threw up his hands and turned back towards the road. 

“Your choice Rachel. But he’s got to eat something soon.”

To Be Continued…


	5. An ambush by Monroe: Lovely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel, Miles and Monroe have a fight over Toby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own Toby.

Rachel had managed to find some powdered baby formula in an emergency food box. They’d scoured a boarded up house and in a basement they found it sitting under stairs hidden away by a trap door of all things. Surprisingly, the food in the box was still good for another three years. So the group loaded it onto the wagon and here they were. To her luck, she had found three baby bottles in the box. She smiled down at Toby, who was now content with suckling away at the bottle his mother was giving him. 

“There we go, that’s my boy huh? Mommy’s just sorry she can’t give you what you really need. But you were away from mommy for so long it went away. You and I are never going to get separated again.”

Shielding Toby, Rachel felt herself lurch forward as the wagon came to a jerking stop.

“Miles, what’s going on?”

Turning her head, she heard a voice she didn’t feel like dealing with at the moment.

“Rachel we need to talk.”

Gritting her teeth, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck begin to rise. Nothing good ever came out of a conversation with Monroe. Looking up, she found Monroe and the three women from the house. Another three had accompanied them. 

“We don’t have anything to talk about Bass. Toby is my son and I don’t want him to have anything to do with you.”

Giving a frustrated sigh, Monroe stepped closer. Miles, Gene, and Charlie had their guns on him. 

“I would just like to have him back, and so would these lovely ladies with me.”

A gut-wrenching feeling fell over Rachel and she instinctively held Toby closer to her. 

“You will never get him back. I have no intentions of sharing custody with six other people. I don’t care if you’re his father. Considering under the circumstances in which he was conceived its best if you forget about being a part of his life.”

Rachel didn’t care if she had wounded Monroe’s pride or not. It was something that she kept locked up tight. Sharing it with others in her family would mean bringing back the pain she’d suffered. 

“Look Rachel I just want to make things right. He’s my son after all.”

She let out a dry humorless laugh and scoffed at him.

“Make things right? I didn’t ask for you to chain me to that bed and force yourself on me. You did that all so you could get information out of me about the pendants. Stay the hell away from me you sick excuse for a human being. I killed Strausser for that same reason. Maybe I should’ve done the same with you. Besides you have Connor. What do you need Toby for?”

Rachel was experiencing every negative emotion at the moment, and somehow, it made it that much harder to breathe. 

“I just want to be there for him.”

Shaking her head she kept her anger, her sadness and her tears back. 

“You took him away from me. My son. How could you keep a child from its mother? You kept him in the next room and I could do nothing to soothe his frightened cries, take away his hunger. You kept me locked away like a dirty little secret.”

Miles got down from the wagon and aimed his rifle at Monroe. Knocking him to the ground, he shoved the weapon in his face. 

“What the hell did I tell you Bass? I told you to stay the hell away from my family. Rachel has the right to refuse your involvement in her son’s life. Besides there was no excuse for what you did to her. Karma’s a bitch so watch out.”

Rachel put in another two cents worth.

“Keep him away from me Miles, or so help me god I’ll castrate him myself. It’s what he deserves. He’s no better than the people that were in the maximum security prisons before the blackout. You know how much blood is on your hands Bass. You have to own up to it.”

Monroe shot her a glare. 

“What gives you the right to say that to me Rachel? Hmm? You’ve got a bit of dirty laundry yourself. You ended the world Rachel. I’d say we’re even.”

She shielded Toby under her jacket to try and hide him from Monroe. 

“Far from even Bass. Karma’s a bitch and it’ll come back and bite you in the ass when you’re not looking.”

Miles didn’t move from his spot on the ground kneeling in front of Monroe. 

“If you so much as move an inch you’ll have a bullet in your head.”

Monroe scoffed at Miles.

“So this is how its always going to go Miles? The both of us will kick each other’s asses until we’re old men?”

Miles frown deepened and he stayed put.

“If that’s what it takes for you to stay away from Rachel and my family, then yes.”

To Be Continued…


	6. A stand-off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stand-off ensues between Rachel and Clara. Then the group is knocked out by more people than they could handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own Toby.

“Just give me the boy and we’ll go without any trouble.”

Rachel shook her head and continued rocking Toby to sleep. How could she have not known that everything back at the house was a trap? Hind sight now. 

“No. It’s taken me a long time to get him back. You can’t have him. Have you experienced losing 50 percent of your children to this war? I have and I don’t want to lose one more to that son of a bitch dick standing in front of you. He cost me 11 years and 9 months of my life that I’ll never get back.”

Clara was clearly bothered by the fact that Rachel intended to keep Toby and raise him herself. Rachel watched as Clara crossed her arms over her chest. She had a strange smirk on her face. One that Rachel knew didn’t bring good news. 

“You know Rachel, we had such big plans for you. Guess the cats out of the bag now. We thought we could deliver Toby without you even knowing. You see, I put just enough beetroot into your breakfast to induce labor. We made it look like you passed out from the pain. We had enough Chloroform to keep you knocked out for a year stocked piled in a room right below you. The six of us had everything ready. Just as I was about to make the incision by performing a Caesarean on you, you woke up. You looked at me and asked what I was doing. I told you that your baby was in distress and that doing a Caesarean was best for the both of you. You didn’t believe me and caught me in the lie. So I switched gears so that we could deliver him naturally. Our ultimate goal was to deliver your son without your knowledge and when you woke up, I would give you the news that he had passed away from unforeseen complications. Thus giving me the time to smuggle him out of Philly and across the Plains Nation and up to Northern Michigan. You wouldn’t have known he was even alive.”

Anger bubbling up to the surface, Rachel stood with Toby tucked away in her arms. Switching with Charlie, she grabbed for the rifle. Getting down from the wagon, she stomped her way towards Clara.

“Who are you?”

Clara smirked and folded her hands in front of her.

“Doctor Clara Rice Head of OB at Saint Augustine’s in Pittsburgh. At least before the blackout anyways.”

She gestured towards the other five with her.

“All of us were heads of our field from all over the country. Monroe was lucky and smart enough to find us. You were not exactly a model patient. I’ll give you that. You were very difficult and got agitated so easily.”

Rachel creased her forehead in thought. 

“Why don’t I remember that?”

Gripping the rifle in her hands a bit tighter, Rachel watched the woman in front of her like a big cat in the wild circling its prey. Clara simply shrugged her shoulders as if she wasn’t bothered by anything Rachel was saying. At least not her question. 

“We kept you medicated most of the time. Not enough to knock you out, but enough to keep tabs on you. Honestly, that’s in the past now. Enough with the chit chat, you know who we are now. Give me my son. Please.”

Looking straight into Clara’s eyes, Rachel kept the rifle aimed at her. No way in hell was she going to give up Toby. 

“First off, he’s not your son. He’s mine. I’d give my life for him.”

Clara smirked more and motioned for someone who wasn’t clearly visible. Before Rachel could react, she felt a burning sensation on the back of her neck and something covering her mouth. She tried desperately to fight against whomever was holding onto her, but the strength was quickly leaving her. They’d all walked into a trap that Monroe had set. He hadn’t changed one bit. Even though he’d claimed to. She last thing she heard before she completely blacked out was Toby crying. 

To Be Continued…


	7. A second son to help rebuild the Monroe Republic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monroe and Connor capture Rachel and Toby, meanwhile he tells her that Connor and Toby will help him with his plan to rebuild the Monroe Republic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own Toby.

Her vision was fuzzy at first when she opened her eyes. Coughing she attempted to sit up. Eyes clearing, Rachel saw Charlie slumped over in the wagon next to her. 

“Charlie. Wake up. Come on.”

Holding her breath, Rachel waited with worry and watched as Charlie’s eyes fluttered open. 

“Mom? What happened?”

Still disoriented, Rachel took her canteen filled with water and handed it to Charlie. 

“Those women knocked us out. They took your brother back. Monroe has plans to keep him. I’m going to do everything in my power to get your brother back. We can’t let Monroe raise him. He needs us. Even after all the bad things I’ve done for both you and Danny, I have to make this right. Your little brother never did anything wrong. All I did was give birth to him. But I’ve never gotten to hold him until today. I will not let another one of my children be taken by that man.”

Something told her to head east a little ways. She wasn’t sure if it was something to do with her mothering instincts, or just a bad feeling. Getting down from the wagon, she tested her balance with the ground below her feet. When she was steady enough she began walking in the direction she was sure the women went. Creasing her forehead in thought she saw a trail of blood in front of her, following it she soon came upon the body of Clara Rice. Not ten feet away were the other five bodies. 

The only one missing was Monroe. What did Rachel expect? Monroe was smart in a lot of ways. A wriggling blanket on the ground caught her attention and without a moment’s hesitation she went towards it. Getting down on her knees she reached for the blanket and pulled it back to find a screaming Toby underneath. Scooping him into her arms she tried rocking him. She looked him over and found he was covered in blood splotches. She wasn’t sure if the blood was his or someone else’s. 

A tree branch snapped somewhere behind her. Cradling Toby in one arm, Rachel reached for her knife at her left hip and pulled it from its sheath. Someone grabbed her from behind, causing her reaction time to lag slightly. She bristled when she realized it was Monroe. 

“Do you really think I’d leave my son behind Rachel? He’s heir to the Monroe Republic. Connor and Toby will help me rebuild the republic. But it’ll be different this time. It’ll be better for everyone. However, Toby does need his mother. So I’m afraid you’re going to have to come with me. Connor take your brother.”

Rachel tried to fight Monroe, but he was quicker and stronger that she was. Everything faded to black and the last thing she heard from Monroe was not comforting in the least.

“Rebuilding the republic will be easier now that I have both my son’s to help me out.”

She’d walked into another trap because she always leaped before she thought about the consequences. What were Monroe’s plans for Toby? 

To Be Continued…


	8. A prisoner once again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel finds herself a prisoner with Monroe once more. Meanwhile Monroe and Connor have a somewhat heated disagreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own Toby.

Rachel woke to Toby screaming at the top of his lungs. Wherever she was, it was dark. She was expecting to hear Monroe’s voice, but instead she heard Connor’s.

“Good. You’re finally awake. Kid’s been squawking for twenty minutes. My guess is that he’s angry and hungry.”

A water canteen was shoved into her hands and she drank from it greedily. Her throat was as dry as a cotton field. A lantern was lit and she found herself lying in a bed. Toby was still screaming in what looked like a sturdy but makeshift crib next to the bed. Pushing herself up, she reached in and took Toby in her arms. 

“I know baby. You’re hungry. Mommy’s got to start weaning you off the formula and onto some solid food. Shame your adopted mother insisted on feeding you milk I should’ve been able to give you.”

Connor gave a look between disgusted and annoyed. Toby screamed louder and Rachel leaned up against the old headboard behind her and carefully situated him in her arms. Looking Connor dead in the eye, Rachel pointed toward a bottle on a crate next to the bed. There was a box of powdered formula next to it. Scooping some of the powder into the bottle, she used the water from the canteen and poured it inside. Toby grew even louder as she mixed the formula in the bottle. 

“There we go. Go on.”

Rachel missed the closeness that came with feeding her children. Toby was the last one. A smile spread across her face as she watched her son eat. At the corner of her eye, she saw Connor sigh in relief. 

“He seems happy when he’s eating. How do you keep so calm when he’s screaming his head off like that?”

It seemed strange that this man standing in front of her could even possibly be related to Sebastian Monroe. He could be cocky at times, but not like Monroe. There was a sort of soft side to him. 

“A great deal of patience and maternal/paternal instinct. I’ve had a lot of practice with all four of my children.”

Rachel kept herself distracted with Toby and watched as his eyes began to get heavy. 

“I know about Charlie. What about you’re other two kids?”

Connor watched as Rachel closed her eyes and blink back a few tears. 

“My son Danny was murdered by your dad. He was barely 18. Then there was Mayra. She was two months old when she contracted Whooping Cough and died. It was only a year after the blackout.”

Connor didn’t know what to say. He apologized and sat down in a chair that wasn’t broken. 

“I’m sorry.”

Rachel saw glimmers of compassion in Connor’s eyes. Something she definitely didn’t see in Monroe. 

“Ask your father one of these days what he did to me. Even if you ask him he’ll say: It’s because I love her. If you were smart Connor, you would get as far away from this place as you can. Find yourself a nice girl and settle down somewhere. Forget about helping your dad rebuild his empire. He’s a deranged man with illusions of grandeur.”

Monroe stepped into the room, apparently he’d been listening behind the door. 

“Now Rachel, why are you trying to brainwash my son with your lies?”

Giving a humorless laugh, Rachel looked between Connor and then down at Toby.

“Which one? Your youngest? Or the man standing before me?”

Monroe raised his hand as if to strike, Rachel all the while shielded Toby from him. 

“You know I don’t like it when people talk to me like that Rachel. I would be very careful if I were you.”

Letting out another humorless laugh Rachel sat up on the bed straighter, as if in defiance of Monroe. 

“That’s right Bass. Violence is what your good at. Killing is what your good at. Oh and I almost forgot, when you want something you think is important, like information about how to turn the power back on, you beat a person until they tell you everything. That’s what you did to me isn’t it? You think you’re so smart, so brave. You’re nothing but a coward.”

Rachel was fuming and so was Monroe. Connor stepped between the two feuding enemies to try and diffuse the situation. 

“Dad she’s a woman and a mother. Show her a little respect. A little respect goes a long ways.”

Monroe only stared at Connor. Rachel interrupted the two. 

“You murdered my daughter, my son and my husband. You took Toby away from me. You deserve to die. You never even let me hold Toby. You made a deal with all those women that helped me deliver him just so you could get him back in the long run? I liked you better before the blackout Bass. You actually had a heart and you didn’t go around killing people just to prove you were in control of things. You know Toby won’t replace your daughter. She’s never coming back. I’m sorry you lost your wife and your daughter Bass, but you either let your grief define who you are, or you rise above it. Apparently you let it define you.”

Monroe grew angrier and handcuffed Rachel to the bedframe. Taking Toby from her arms, he started walking away. Rachel began pleading with him.

“Please Bass don’t take him. I will do anything you ask! Please!”

Monroe turned momentarily in the doorway and looked Rachel straight in the eye.

“The only mistake I made Rachel was letting Toby stay with you. From now on, he will stay with me. You will have limited contact with him.”

Connor followed Monroe out into the hallway and heard Rachel sobbing behind the locked door to her room.

“Dad this isn’t right. You shouldn’t separate Toby from her. A mother has the right to be with her child.”

Monroe only scoffed at Connor and kept walking.

“Since when do you care Connor?”

Connor nearly sneered at Monroe.

“Maybe since you got my mother killed.”

Mentioning Emma was a sore spot with Monroe, one he wasn’t quite ready to share with an audience yet. Toby was key to helping him rebuild the Monroe Republic. Rachel was in   
the background as far as he was concerned. He would raise him by himself if he had to. 

To Be Continued…


	9. A cold trail/An unlikely source of help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor helps Rachel and Toby escape Monroe. Meanwhile they run into a hungry pack of wolves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own Toby.

“Miles that’s it. I lost mom and Monroe’s trail. Connor’s with him. Looks like Monroe started dragging mom, which means he knocked her out.”

Charlie threw her arms up in frustration because she knew she couldn’t track them over pavement or water. Miles sighed but wasn’t giving up.

“Don’t worry Charlie. We’ll find your mom and your brother. You have my word. It’s going to be dark soon. Time to make camp.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Rachel barely noticed the lock to her room clicking and the door opening. Her breakfast sat untouched on the crate next to the bed. If there was one way to ruin her sanity again, it was to take away her baby a second time. She blinked when she saw Connor come into the room with Toby and shut the door. He was fast asleep in Connor’s arms. Rachel held back her tears and attempted to sit up. Connor supporting Toby in his left arm, he helped Rachel sit up. Once she was situated Connor placed Toby in her arms. 

“Thank you for bringing him back to me Connor. You don’t know how much this means to me. Where’s Monroe? If he finds out, you took Toby from him he’ll be furious.”

Connor smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn’t look worried one bit.

“Don’t worry. I gave him enough sleeping pills to keep him knocked out for the next eight hours. Those weren’t easy to come by I’ll tell you. You know, I was wrong about you. You’re not that crazy after all. You would do anything to protect your children. The best I can do right now is give you some time with him and then take him back an hour before my dad wakes up. We’ll figure out how to get you out of here later.”

Rachel smiled at Connor and reached for his hand. Squeezing it, she looked at him with true sincerity in her eyes.

“Toby is your brother too. I won’t keep you from seeing him. You can come with us. Monroe can rot for all I care. You are nothing like your father. Don’t let him rope you into believing you are. Now I didn’t know your mother, but I’m sure you are more like her every day. Don’t sell yourself short Connor.”

Connor felt appreciative of Rachel, something he hadn’t felt before. Maybe he had been wrong about her after all. 

“You know; my dad is wrong about you. You’re not the ‘bitch about things’ woman he says you are. You can hold your own in a fight and you don’t give up easily. He wouldn’t like it though if I went with you and Miles. He would think I’d betrayed him.”

Rachel covered Toby’s ears as Connor spoke.

“Watch your mouth in front of your brother.”

Toby pushed the bottle away from his mouth and began to whine. He was still getting used to eating the formula. Rachel wasn’t entirely sure Toby was adjusting everything that was going on around him. His whining became more incessant and he was once again grabbing large pieces of her shirt. Rachel sighed and looked down at Toby.

“Come on Tob, we’ve already had this conversation several times, I don’t have any food to give you. I know what you want, but it doesn’t exactly work the way you want it to. Come on, just please take a little more I know you’re hungry.”

Toby still wasn’t having it. Rachel shook her head. This was all because those women had spoiled him. 

“This is what happens when children are separated from their mother’s. A child’s first year is crucial in their development. I can’t blame him. He doesn’t even know I’m his mother.”

Rachel wiped the tears from Toby’s eyes and tried to calm him. He’d maneuvered himself to the point where he had a large wad of her shirt in his mouth. She knew Toby saw her as someone he got food from, but he didn’t understand the bottle. 

“Maybe he’s just tired. I’ve noticed he clings more to you when he’s scared or tired.”

Nodding Rachel sighed once more and thought on Connor’s comment. Toby was staring at her with unsure eyes and flailing in her arms. 

“It’s ok baby. Mommy’s right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Frowning, Rachel pushed down on Toby’s bottom lip and saw two new teeth coming in. 

“Oh sweetie, you have two new teeth coming in. You probably want something to chew on. We have no ice baby, and I don’t exactly have any teething rings handy.”

Looking Connor in the eye Rachel tried to picture him handling Toby. But then again he wasn’t a father yet. 

“Trust me Rachel, what we give teething babies in Mexico is quite a bit different than here in the former United States. A cold cloth with water from the pump outside should help a little. I’ll go get one for you.”

Nodding once more, Rachel put Toby up to her shoulder and cradled him there. As she tried to soothe his anxious cries, she tried to picture Connor surviving all those years in Mexico. Rachel smiled at Connor when he came back with the washcloth with cold water on it. 

“You know; it still amazes me Connor that Miles would choose to send you to Mexico in the first place. I myself didn’t exactly know what we were going to run into down there. Before we found you, I’d only ever been to Mexico once in my life and that was when I was a teenager, way before the blackout happened. Growing up, the only thing I knew was that they were our southern neighbor and they have something like 30 states. Where exactly were we?”

Connor took a seat on one of the crates next to the bed. 

“Mexico is a vast country. Texas spans four Mexican states: Chihuahua, Coahuila, Nuevo Leon and Tamaulipas. I lived in Tamaulipas.”

Rachel looked confused and tried to pronounce the last state name that popped out of Connor’s mouth.

“Tama… Wait Tama what?”

Connor let out a soft laugh and pulled a map from his pocket. Rachel was startled to know he could actually read one of those. 

“Tamaulipas. Right here at the bottom of Texas. Actually, there are 31 states. You were close. There would be 32 but no one counts D.F.”

Again, Rachel became confused and shook her head, keeping Toby occupied with the cold and wet washcloth, rubbing it over his gums.

“Mexico City. We call it the Federal District. Kind of like what Washington D.C. used to be like here. Listen Rachel I have a plan. I’m going to get you some food and get you out of here. But we have to do it before my dad wakes up. I won’t let my dad take Toby from you ever again. He deserves to stay with you. Give me a few minutes and I’ll help you escape.”

In truth, Connor didn’t know if he even trusted his father or not. A bit too extreme for him. Rachel watched as he disappeared out of the room and come back ten minutes later with a pack and some sort of sling to carry Toby in. 

“Come on, we have to go.”

Rachel had questions on her lips ready to slip out if needed, but Connor put his index finger to his lips as he unlocked the cuffs chaining her to the bed. Helping Rachel into the sling, he got Toby situated inside. Handing her a heavy blanket Connor helped her up from the bed.

“What’s this for Connor?”

Shaking his head Connor wrapped the heavy blanket around Rachel. 

“It’s cold out. The two of you need to stay warm. Now come on let’s go.”

Following Connor out of the room slowly, Rachel couldn’t help but dart her eyes here and there, sure to find Monroe at any moment. But so far, she’d found him nowhere. Ever being cautious, Rachel kept one arm under the sling holding Toby, while the other kept the blanket around her. A pit was beginning to form in her stomach as she saw the front door. They were in a cabin. One very much like the one she lived in with Ben so many years ago where she’d given birth to her third child and second daughter Mayra. Connor held the door open for her and she stepped out onto the porch. It was beginning to darken outside. Standing on the steps, Rachel saw Connor light a torch and start down the old and creaky wooden steps into the crunchy leaf piled dirt below. Walking in silence for a few minutes, Rachel thought she heard something and froze. Connor whirled around to see a flash of dark fur circle past him. 

At first it was just one low growl, and soon several more accompanied it. Connor lit another torch and threw it in the direction the sound was coming from. The firelight from the torch revealed 16 very hungry looking wolves. Rachel tried to keep her distance, all while protecting Toby. Connor was using the fire as a way to keep the wolves at bay. But they kept getting closer. Each time they were inching closer to Connor and nipping at him. Rachel as scared as she was, was trying to keep Toby calm while swinging a torch Connor handed her at the two wolves advancing on her. 

“I won’t let them get you Toby. You’re safe with me.”

Rachel hoped that she, Toby and Connor would get out of this alive. Where was Miles when she needed him? 

To Be Continued…


	10. Escaping nature's beasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles and the gang fight off the pack of wolves surrounding Rachel and Connor. Meanwhile, Rachel hears a happy sound come from Toby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own Toby.

Rachel could do nothing at the moment to soothe Toby’s cries of fear. The wolves encircling her were nipping and closing in on the helpless pair. Swinging the torch towards the pack of hungry wolves, Rachel tried to steer clear of their nipping and gnashing teeth at her heels. 

“Get away from us! I will not let you have my son for your next meal!”

A moment of swift clarity hit Rachel like a ton of bricks as she remembered her knife tucked away against her hip. Balancing and cradling Toby in her left arm, she reached for the knife and drew it. From the corner of her eye, she could see Connor was cornered into a large oak tree to her right by three wolves. A shot echoed through the air and a wolf collapsed at Rachel’s feet with a howl. Her eyes scanned the surrounding area, but the darkness was shrouding the figure who’d just shot the wolf at her feet. The others were now scampering away. Swallowing, Rachel dreaded the voice that was coming. Her mind was screaming that this was just another trap. Her heartrate seemed to drop in intensity when she heard a familiar voice. 

“Rachel? You ok?”

It was Miles. Rachel was still trying to console a very frightened Toby who was screaming at the top of his lungs. 

“I’m fine. Might want to have my dad check Toby out though. Those beasts got pretty close to him.”

Connor shook his head and smirked, then crossing his arms over his chest he slid down against the tree trunk, trying to regain his breath. 

“Thanks. I’m fine too.”

Rachel wanted to roll her eyes at Connor, but she was more worried about Toby at the moment. He was screaming his head off and no amount of her comforting words would calm him. She rocked him trying her best to see if it would calm him down a bit. Running a hand over his tiny head, she spoke to him.

“Baby it’s ok. Mommy’s right here. Nothing is going to hurt you.”

Toby pulled at his tiny ears and grew angrier, his face getting redder with anger. Rachel somehow felt at a loss. She was his mother and yet, she didn’t know how to comfort him. She didn’t even know him. He’d spent his first 15 months with total strangers. She would have to build trust with him, she was his mother after all. Gene showed up next to Rachel and took him from her arms so that he could examine him. 

“Dad? Is he ok?”

Gene nodded and handed the screaming Toby back to Rachel. 

“He’s fine. Not a scratch on him surprisingly. He’s just scared and hungry. Let’s get going before Monroe finds us. I don’t want to have an excuse to stick around just to beat the living daylights out of him for what he did to you.”

Rachel let her mind wander as they made their way back towards the wagon. She imagined what it would be like if Monroe was raising Toby.

“You see this son; all this will be yours one day…”

 

As Rachel climbed up onto the wagon it was Charlie that brought her out of her nightmarish thoughts.

“Mom, Toby’s hungry.”

Rachel nodded and cleared her head, bouncing Toby on her right knee as she sat down. 

“Mama knows your hungry baby. I’ll get you a bottle in a minute ok? Charlie could you take your brother while I make him a bottle?”

Charlie didn’t hesitate to take her little brother from her mother’s arms. She tried distracting him by making funny faces at him. Toby stopped crying and started laughing at Charlie’s funny faces. Rachel smiled at the sound of her little boy’s laugh. It was something that wasn’t heard very often. Not in this world at least. 

“Now that’s the sound that we should be hearing. Children’s laughter.”

A pained expression crossed Rachel’s face. The faces of each child she’d lost flashed across her mind’s eye. Mayra. Danny. 

“I only have you and Toby. Charlie. I will not let Monroe ruin what’s left of our family. He’s done enough damage to it and me. This is my chance to redeem myself.”

After everything her mom had told her, Charlie still held a slight grudge. She wanted to trust her mom again, but it was going to take a little more than finding out she had a little brother which was kept secret for 15 months. But she had to realize that admitting this was painful for Rachel and that she was actually a victim in all this mess. 

To Be Continued…


	11. Where's Toby?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel panics when she finds Toby missing from his crib, then she sees him with Charlie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own Toby.

Rachel gasped and woke with a start, she looked around the room disoriented and with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Stumbling to her feet, she made it to the door. The crib Toby was supposed to be asleep in was empty. Swallowing, she began to panic. She reached in and pulled back the blankets, Toby wasn’t in the crib. Opening the door to her room, she cautiously and quietly walked down the hallway, looking through each of the open doors. Still no Toby. She could feel the bile rising from her stomach and the panic was now beginning to eat her whole. She felt her breath catch in her throat and it was hard to breathe. 

 

“Baby, where are you?”

 

It only got worse as she continued down the hallway towards the living room. She heard a fussy baby babbling just around the corner. Her heart leapt with joy as she heard her little boy. Coming into the living room, she found him in the arms of Charlie. Unconsciously she’d placed a hand over her flat stomach and then reached for the boy. She looked Charlie dead in the eye.

 

“Charlie? Is he ok?”

 

Charlie, nodding her head handed her little brother over to her mother. 

 

“He was hungry. I didn’t want to wake you.”

 

Rachel gave a nervous smile, and her bottom lip twitched.

 

“Did you feed him yet?”

 

Charlie shook her head no.

 

“He won’t take food from anybody but you mom.”

 

It was true. Toby wouldn’t take food from anybody but Rachel. Every time she went to feed him, he fought the bottle with all his little might. He was fussy now and Rachel felt him beginning to tug on her shirt. Sometimes she didn’t know what to do for him. They were both frustrated. Her eyes lit up and she looked at Charlie.

 

“I have an idea. Charlie, can you go and find me a blanket?”

 

Charlie nodded and came back a minute later with a seemingly heavy blanket. 

 

“But mom, I thought you said you didn’t have anything to give him.”

 

Rachel shook her head and laughed a little.

 

“I don’t. This is a comfort measure. You see, babies like to hear their mother’s voice and the blanket provides the warmth. Not the same kind as when they’re inside the womb of course, but it comes in at a close second.”

 

Finding a chair to sit in, Rachel carefully lowered herself into it and felt her eyes begin to droop. She was suddenly startled awake and she stuck her head under the blanket to check on Toby. 

 

“Hey little man, mommy gave you a bottle. I already showed you once before that mommy doesn’t have anything in there to give you. No matter how hard you try to get your meal through my shirt.”

 

She knew that Toby didn’t understand. Then it hit her, she wondered how old Toby really was. She had fragments of memory from the night he was born, and he was tiny. Furrowing her eyebrows, Rachel covered Toby once more and looked to her dad for some advice.

 

“Dad? How old do you think Toby is?”

 

Gene looked at Rachel and frowned. 

 

“A little over a year. From what you told me.”

 

Rachel shook her head no and stared hard at her dad.

 

“Dad, the math doesn’t exactly add up. He may have come out of me screaming, but from what I remember, he looked a little on the light side. Weight wise. I remember him getting stuck. There were three other women that helped get him out. The next thing I know; Monroe is leaving the room with him in his arms.”

 

Looking away, Rachel hid her tears. She had to be strong, for Toby’s sake. She heard him whimper under the blanket and she took another peek at him. She never got enough of looking at him. Tufts of blond hair, dimple in his left cheek, and sparkling green eyes. 

 

“Just go to sleep now Toby. Mommy is right here. Nothing is going to happen to you.”

 

But Toby kept crying. He whimpered and grabbed for Rachel’s shirt. Starting to hum, Rachel tried rocking him to sleep. Eventually taking to the bottle, Toby’s eyes started to get heavy. This wasn’t going to be an easy challenge to conquer. 

 

To Be Continued…


	12. Moving past the pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles comforts Rachel as she relives her worst night with Monroe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own an of the Revolution characters. But I do own Toby.

Rachel tucked Toby back into the crib and watched him sleeping for a minute or two. She couldn’t fathom having lived apart from him for a little more than a year. Memories were beginning to inundate her. They were coming at her in great flashes and she felt as if the breath were leaving her lungs. 

 

Steadying herself with the crib, she managed to swallow and bring her senses back to reality. She suddenly felt dirty from the inside out. Feeling dizzy and disoriented, she felt herself falling. A door opened just behind, and a voice sounded, although it was very faraway.

 

“Mom? Grandpa! Mom needs help!”

 

Miles was the first to move past Charlie to see Rachel’s fallen form, crumpled next to the crib. Toby was fast asleep. Dropping down next to her, he put a hand up to her cheek, and then lowered his ear to her mouth to see if she was breathing. 

 

“Her breathing’s very shallow. I can barely hear it.”

 

He put a hand back up to her cheek and brushed his fingertips over it lightly. 

 

“Come on Rachel. Wake up. What happened?”

 

Gene leaned down next to Rachel and took stock of the situation.

 

“She fainted. She’ll be alright. Stay with her Miles. Let me know if her condition changes.”

 

Miles nodded as Charlie and Gene left the room, leaving him alone with Rachel. Lifting her, he carried her to the bed and gently set her down on it. Finding some cloth and fresh water, he began wiping her face and forehead. As he took in Rachel’s limp form, he noticed her shirt had moved slightly when he put her on the bed revealing scars and stretch marks on her side. 

 

“Did Strausser give you these scars? Or Monroe?”

 

He said it more to himself than to the two other occupants in the room. It was forty minutes before Rachel began to stir. Her eyes flew open and she looked wildly around the room, clawing at air and pushing away at someone’s invisible hands. Miles watched her for a moment, and he noticed she was breathing heavily. Pulling the blanket over her legs, she continued to struggle against Miles strong embrace. He listened as Rachel gave out a pained breath, gripping the blankets. His brain put two and two together and his eyes wandered to where Toby was sleeping. Miles listened as Rachel spoke to the invisible person on the end of the bed.

 

“…This baby isn’t coming out right now. I won’t let you have him. No! I’m not going to push.”

 

Charlie heard her mother scream from the front of the house and came running back. Her eyes widened when she saw the state she was in. 

 

“Miles? What’s wrong with mom?”

 

Swallowing, she got closer to Rachel and took in what was happening to her. 

 

“She’s dreaming. Bad memory from the night your brother was born.”

 

Charlie’s face softened as she tried to reach for her mom’s hand. 

 

“Then why don’t we just wake her up?”

 

Miles shook his head. 

 

“Nope. We gotta let her go through the motions. It’s almost like she’s sleep walking. You can’t just wake someone up who’s going through that.”

 

Charlie sat on an old crate on the other side of the bed and peered at her mother as she gripped the blankets and let go. Miles felt helpless as he held Rachel in his arms. He closed his eyes as he heard her give out another pained cry. He saw her foot connect with the air and she spoke through clenched teeth.

 

“How do you like that shiner?”

 

Charlie gave Miles a look of confusion. Miles wiped the sweat from Rachel’s forehead and kissed it. He saw her grip the blankets and let go one last time, still breathing heavily. She now had tears streaming down her face. She was trying to get up from the bed and was reaching for something by the end of the bed. 

 

“Give me my son! Please…”

 

Miles helped her lie back against the pillows and turned to Charlie.

 

“Go get your grandpa.”

 

Charlie stood up and went out of the room. Two minutes later, she was back with Gene. Miles looked up at Gene with pleading eyes.

 

“You gotta give her something.”

 

Gene nodded his head and slipped her something to help her sleep. Miles put the blankets around her and watched her sleep. 

 

“You should’ve seen her Gene. She didn’t have any clue where she was. She just kept screaming. What are we supposed to do? What if it happens again?”

 

Gene sighed and frowned.

 

“We don’t know if it will happen again. We’ll have to wait and see, and watch her.”

 

Miles ran a hand through Rachel’s hair and shook his head. 

 

“I should’ve never left you with Monroe.”

 

To Be Continued…


	13. Revealing the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel tells Miles what she remembers of what happened between her and Monroe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own a few original ones.

Rachel groaned and opened her eyes. She tried sitting up, but Miles put a hand on her shoulder.

 

“Lie back Rachel. Don’t try and move.”

 

She was confused as she looked around the room. Her eyes landed on Toby still asleep in the crib a few feet away. 

 

“What happened? What’s going on?”

 

Miles handed her a cup of water and she downed it in a couple of seconds.

 

“Charlie, found you passed out halfway under the crib. You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

 

Still confused, Rachel opened and then closed her mouth. 

 

“I was putting Toby to bed when I suddenly got flashes of memory come back to me. Then I suddenly felt dirty from the inside out.”

 

Miles smoothed back some hair from Rachel’s face and looked into her baby blues. 

 

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. I understand.”

 

Rachel took Miles’ hand and squeezed it. 

 

“No. I want to tell you. Do you remember the story I told you about when Monroe and I were looking for you? We were by the creek bed when we stopped. We started to argue. Monroe brought up Toby and then he kissed me. I pushed him away and told him to stay away from me. The strange thing is, I remember bits and pieces of that night in Philadelphia. Monroe wanted information about the pendants. I told him I wouldn’t give it to him. He went into his private stash of wine and came back with two bottles. I remember him locking my door. What I do remember clearly was being held down on the bed by him, his hot breath on my neck. Not only did I have wine in my system, he gave me something else so that I couldn’t move. So, I couldn’t escape. Even in my drunk state of mind, I tried to fight against him, but he was stronger than I was. I felt like a rag doll. I begged him, but he wouldn’t listen and he wouldn’t stop. 

After that night, I felt ashamed of myself and felt I could never wash away how dirty I felt on the inside. Three weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Believe me, I thought about escaping after I found out. But I thought: ‘If I can get out of here, where am I going to go? No one is going to take in a pregnant woman. I’m an extra mouth to feed and people are starving out in the world.’ I can’t blame Toby. I brought him into the world. Monroe took every courtesy to take care of me. Only because I was carrying his son. This is where those five women come in. He promised me he’d find a team of highly qualified doctors to see me through my difficult pregnancy. I was so close to being on bed rest twice. They were worried Eclampsia had set in. 

I tried to fight off the doctors helping me the night Toby was born. I tried to stall and delay labor if I could. I felt degraded and humiliated by these women that were helping me. Not them helping me, but Monroe’s guards that stood just behind them. Two were holding my legs, another two were holding the rest of my body down and then there was the one I told you about with the dark hair, green eyes and glasses. She seemed to be the ring leader of the group. I screamed at the one by the foot of the bed. Her bedside manner was completely awful. Toby was stubborn. I pushed for two days with him. Mayra took me sixteen hours. Danny was the easiest out of them all: all I had to do with him was push three times and he was out. Charlie. She was the gauntlet. I felt like I was running a marathon with her. Four doctors had to get her out. Four doctors and three days later, I had Charlie. She was ten pounds and six ounces. 22 inches long, and she was a screamer. Mayra was a crier and Danny didn’t have a voice. But that didn’t make him any less special to me. Toby was another screamer. If I could have my kids back, and the lights were back on, all this would just be an awful nightmare. Toby wouldn’t exist though.”

 

Toby stirred in the crib and Rachel was about to rise from the bed, but Miles stopped her.

 

“You rest, I’ll get him.”

 

Rachel wasn’t sure what to think of this ‘new Miles’. She watched as he took Toby in his arms. Toby fussed at first, but then calmed down. Toby felt awkward in his arms, but he   
managed. Smirking, Rachel reached out for Toby and Miles placed him in her arms.

 

“Hey little man. You are supposed to be asleep. I’ve already fed you. Are you scared?”

 

Toby began to whimper in Rachel’s arms.

 

“We are going to have to teach you to stand pretty soon. I don’t know what those ladies were teaching you, but you need to start eating solid food. Tomorrow I’m going to start you off with some cereal.”

 

Sticking a hand in his mouth, Toby chewed on his fingers. 

 

“I know that look mister, you do that when you’re hungry and when your cutting a new tooth.”

 

Toby took his hand out of his mouth and grabbed for Rachel’s fingers. 

 

“Ma…”

 

Rachel got tears in her eyes as she looked down in Toby. 

 

“What did you say baby?”

 

Grabbing handfuls of her shirt with his fingers, he whined and stuck it into his mouth. Miles shifted next to Rachel and cleared his throat.

 

“I can give you two a few minutes alone if you want.”

 

Rachel shook her head.

 

“Oh, come on Miles. It’s not like you haven’t seen any of this before. Besides, I have nothing to give him, even if I wanted to. I could show him, but it wouldn’t do him much good. This is as frustrating for him as it is for me. He doesn’t understand why someone isn’t feeding him. He’s used to sharing that close bond with that other woman. Something I should have been able to give him, but thanks to Bass, I wasn’t able to.”

 

Miles felt for Rachel. Monroe had taken a child away from her. He hadn’t any right. He also knew that he was likely to follow them, no matter where they went. 

 

“I won’t let Bass hurt you anymore Rachel. I promise you that much. I’ll keep you and Toby as far away from him as possible. He ruined your life. I will not let him touch a single hair on either of your heads alright?”

 

Rachel watched as Toby stuck more of her shirt into his mouth, making it soggy. Spitting it out, he gave out a cry. Sighing, Rachel pointed towards the powdered formula and   
three empty bottles on a broken crate next to the bed. 

 

“Miles, can you make him a bottle? He’ll just start screaming the longer I wait.”

 

Miles poured some water into a bottle and then the formula. Putting the top on, he shook it until there was no more powder visible. Handing the bottle to Rachel, he watched as she guided the bottle towards Toby’s mouth. Toby grabbing a hold of the rubber nipple with his mouth began to suckle. His whining became whimpering and then soon it became tired cooing. She saw that his eyes were becoming heavy, yet he was still trying to eat. 

 

“There we go. That’s my boy.”

 

Rachel traced Toby’s tiny nose and kissed his forehead. She’d wished she’d had this time with him almost two years ago. 

 

“We’ll never be separated again. I promise.”

 

Toby made a noise with his mouth and then closed his eyes. Rachel was ready to fight tooth and nail for Toby. She wasn’t going to let Monroe take him away again.

 

To Be Continued…


	14. Scars that take time to heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel is stabbed by Monroe, then she finds out that Toby has been taken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the Revolution characters. But I do own a few originals.

“NO! Don’t let him take Toby! Please!”

 

Miles woke with a start next to Rachel and pulled her into his arms. 

 

“Hey, Rachel. It’s alright.”

 

Hastily pushing Miles away, Rachel tried getting out of bed. She let out a moan and a loud cry, making her lie back on the bed. Miles eyes grew wide as he saw Rachel’s hands fly to her abdomen.

 

“What happened?”

 

Miles tried to coax an answer out of Rachel, but she rolled onto her side and kept moaning. Blindly reaching for Miles hand, Rachel showed him where the pain was, and when he took his hand away, he saw that it was red.

 

“Rachel, your bleeding.”

 

Getting out of bed, he pushed the covers back and found that the bed was turning red with her blood. He did the next best thing he could think of.

 

“Gene!”

 

Charlie and Gene came rushing into the room. Rachel let out a sob and tears were streaming down her face. As her father approached the bed, she spoke.

 

“Daddy, please help me. Someone took Toby.”

 

Charlie went over to the crib and pulled back the blankets. Her brother wasn’t inside. Coming back towards her mother, she asked questions.

 

“Mom? Who took him?”

 

Rachel shook her head as Miles and Gene put pressure on her wound. Gene looked at Miles and asked his first question.

 

“What happened?”

 

Miles tried not to grind his teeth.

 

“Someone stabbed her. I didn’t see them. It was dark.”

 

Gene grabbed for anything he could find and pressed it against his daughter’s wound. Rachel sobbed into the pillow, calling out for Toby.

 

“Someone took my baby! Where’s Toby!?”

 

Charlie grabbed a hold of her mother’s face and looked at her seriously.

 

“Mom look at me. We’ll find him. We’ll figure out who did this to you. Although I think I have a pretty good idea about who did this.”

 

Rachel was on the war path. 

 

“Monroe is going to get his ass kicked. He wouldn’t dare mess with me right now.”

 

To Be Continued...

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Like matches and gasoline](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6235264) by [zeusfluff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeusfluff/pseuds/zeusfluff)




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